We have no map. There is no map.
This is frequently said, sometimes with a sigh and a look of bewilderment.
Old maps will not help you. In fact, old maps will lead you astray, hinder chances to survive.
“Old map” is short for the beliefs, expectations, working knowledge we have of how the world works, looks and is expected to continue. Therefore, we act as if the future is usefully predictable. Not without chance and random events, of course, but within a broad set of expectations—and based on our previous experience and available knowledge — We will know what to do.
Until we do not.
There is no map for the territory, times and the cultures we are in and hurtling towards. You know that. You feel it. This is true.
The desire to have the old map work is strong. I want the guide posts, the clear highways, the mileage markers, the terrain plainly marked.
For years I walked a map that I thought I knew. Familiar signs and roads, places and signals that I was on the right road. Education. Degrees. Jobs. Marriage. Kids. Better jobs.
Then the maps didn’t work, didn’t cover the territory of the life I was living.
Didn’t explain the nation and the world I walked in—that we all lived in.
Some years ago my wife and I together chose to end our 30 year marriage.
I held her hand at the dining table as we told our three adult children. That telling , their looks and gasps and its pain will never leave me.
It was and is painful. It was and is the right choice for both of us.
For days and weeks I was in denial. There must be another way, I kept thinking and hoping. We had been together 30 years, had been in couples and individual counseling, were aware of and had done spiritual practices, prayers, retreats, sensitivity groups, mens groups, women’s groups, consciousness raising, and more. We tried. All of it. Both of us. We tried.
Together —working well together—we raised healthy wonderful children who knew we loved them. They are now honest, giving smart adults who care for the world, for others and are doing well in their own lives. We had done many things right, not all and not always, of course not, but with a lot of goodness and caring.
But somehow we’d run out of road, off the maps, into unknown territory.
It wasn’t just us.
The times were changing, the 60’s became the 70’s became the 80’s the 90’s., the 2000’s.
We were changing—and being changed. The USA and the world—were changing—and still are.
No single event brought us to the end, to that mutually felt pain filled and even courageous agreement to part. No single event has les led the USA to have a convicted felon be a major political party’s choice to run for president .
The personal is the political.
Remember that slogan? The choice to end our marriage was mutual and personal—we both accept responsibility for it—no one forced us—AND—we are living in these times when basic questions of roles, gender, men and women, the institution of marriage, churches-spirituality, and more—all come up and come apart.
Tear up the old maps.
I moved out. Carrying arm loads of clothing, some books (of course), luggage and boxes with underwear and socks and tees . I moved a few blocks to a small condo and lived in denial even as we both affirmed— again—that we agreed to part. I kept hoping,believing, asserting that there would be a way to return to the patterns and structures I knew well. There must be a way! I said to her, to myself, to friends! There must be!
There was not.
Lost. I felt adrift. The demands of executive jobs kept me going, being busy, but who was I now? Where was I? Who am I? What am I expected—supposed—obligated to do —now??!! Where is the frigging map—??
Then this book: Deep Survival by Laurence Gonzales came to me.
Who Lives. Who Dies. And Why.
It is a book about surviving in the wilderness. The physical wilderness of jungle and mountains, of raging rivers and storms, of accidents and foolish risks. Also—the wilderness of divorce, of illness, sudden job loss, business failure. The wilderness of the hard challenges life throws at you—and it will.
The wilderness now of the USA in 2024.
Life is learning—if we dare—and I chose to learn because I want to survive—and thrive. Here are a few key lessons I took form this book.
Admit you are lost
Do not try to “bend the map” to make the old map fit the unexpected, unplanned, unknown. People who die often keep traveling using their mental map—an old map—that tells them the lodge is just over that ridge, the road home is just a mile around that bend. It isn’t. They march on, because they want the mental map they have to be the right one. It won’t. It cannot. They become more lost. Some die.
Open to the New Reality
slow down—observe carefully where you actually are—not where you want or imagine to be. What is present—take stock—what are the real circumstances you are in now—in this place and time. Not what you wish. What is.
Choose to Survive
survivors choose to survive—it doesn’t always work—but it is an essential first principle. Life happens in ways no personal choice can overcome—a fatal car crash, an avalanche that buries you—and other times—the boat capsizes. Covid or cancer gets you. The company goes bankrupt. The well meaning non profit fails. The long marriage ends. There is a choice—I will survive.
Fear—Own It
Own it. admit it. feel it. To deny it is to give it excessive influence. I admit my fear— that loss of marriage meant loss of me—and now—for the USA—fear of those who threaten the judges and jurors and election workers and poll workers , doctors, teachers with violence. Fear that violence will hit me, my home, my people.
Learn and Adapt
Constantly—from others, from forums and books, from stepping into areas beyond my usual patterns and familiar trails. Forming relationships with people on the ground in George Floyd Square is one of my most potent crucibles of learning.
The personal is the political—that’s my awkward connection between my ending a long marriage and the USA now. What I learned from Deep Survival I find useful now as I confront a nation, an America, I don’t recognize. Learning to see it—as it actually is—not what I imagine.
For many, especially in my North of —pick your own age —there is a strong disbelief that a convicted felon with all his baggage can be the chosen candidate for president—and even more denial and bewilderment that millions support him. Who are we? What are we becoming?
Apply this—there is no map, the old maps cannot guide us, and—take a hard clear look at what is real, what our circumstances actually are—not what we hope.
For me—I have to look at this, Project 2025, the “conservative” plan and promise to implement an authoritarian government in—this—my America. One by one, in small groups, in church and online, I implore people to look at this, read it, to know what it plans—and is already doing. The following is from the Project website.
Project 2025 Overview
(prepared April 2024)
Project 2025 Presidential Transition Project:
Building now for a conservative victory through policy, personnel, and training.
https://www.project2025.org/
Project 2025’s “Mandate for Leadership: The Conservative Promise” is a 920-page detailed manifesto of what this coalition promises to do when conservatives take control of the executive and/or congressional branches of government. https://static.project2025.org/2025_MandateForLeadership_FULL.pdf
Here's the first paragraph of the closing summary of Project 2025’s Mandate for Leadership. "Ultimately, the Left does not believe that all men are created equal—they think they are special. They certainly don’t think all people have an unalienable right to pursue the good life. They think only they themselves have such a right along with a moral responsibility to make decisions for everyone else. They don’t think any citizen, state, business, church, or charity should be allowed any freedom until they first bend the knee. This book, this agenda, the entire Project 2025 is a plan to unite the conservative movement and the American people against elite rule and woke culture warriors."
Project 2025’s Advisory Board includes 100+ conservative organizations who are funding and promoting their agenda.
See all participating organizations at https://www.project2025.org/about/advisory-board/
Project 2025 rests on the 4 pillars or promises of "The Mandate for Leadership: The Conservative Promise." The 17-page forward is filled with aggressive, inflamatory, adversarial language that fuels the “holy warrior” mentality of this movement.
https://thf_media.s3.amazonaws.com/project2025/2025_MandateForLeadership_FOREWORD.pdf
A quick summary of the 4 pillars/promises:
PROMISE #1: RESTORE THE FAMILY AS THE CENTERPIECE OF AMERICAN LIFE AND PROTECT OUR CHILDREN. Anti LGBTQ, anti reproductive rights, anti women’s rights, anti public education, anti social media, anti "hyphenated" Americans, pro Christian patriarchy
PROMISE #2: DISMANTLE THE ADMINISTRATIVE STATE AND RETURN SELF-GOVERNANCE TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. Anti government agencies (specifically Departments of Education, Interior, Homeland Security/Immigration, and the EPA, FTC, Office of Pandemic Preparedness), anti legislative processes, pro executive authority
PROMISE #3: DEFEND OUR NATION’S SOVEREIGNTY, BORDERS, AND BOUNTY AGAINST GLOBAL THREATS. Anti educated elites, anti Woke Left, anti immigrant, anti United Nations & NATO, anti globalization, anti open borders, anti int'l agreements, anti China, pro American capitalism
PROMISE #4 SECURE OUR GOD-GIVEN INDIVIDUAL RIGHT TO ENJOY “THE BLESSINGS OF LIBERTY.” Anti legal constraints, anti regulation, anti progressivism, anti secularism, pro individual rights
And for me—now—i declare myself. Elder, Patriot,Warrior (see previous posts)
and take back this flag—to stand against the planned tyranny—
Who lives, who dies, and why.
Choose to survive—and thrive—and to bring life to the our America—and world.
Some resources—
Center for Purposeful leadership. Patrica and Craig lead
www.cplcommunities.org/spaces
among many resources and community gatherings, has one dedicated to looking hard at Project 2025, understand it, tell about it.
Fire and Water Leadership—Quanita leads
https://fireandwaterleadership.weebly.com/
We don’t lack leaders -- people who have others following them. We lack wise leaders -- those who remain grounded when gale winds blow, those who can think strategically with heart, those who can create conditions for groups to bring forward their gifts individually and collectively, and those who remain committed to what is beyond the storm.
FOR PEOPLE IN POSITIONS OF FORMAL AND INFORMAL LEADERSHIP
We welcome managers, facilitators, team leaders, consultants, coaches, entrepreneurs. We welcome educators, artists, poets, musicians, faith community leaders. We welcome those working with the older and those working with the youngers. We welcome community organizers, social change activists, government, and all positions of all people seeking a substantially better way of heart, mind, and belly.
FOR PEOPLE WHO CAN'T HELP BUT DWELL NEAR OR OVER THE EDGES
We welcome people that can’t help but dwell on the edges of possibility, that tremble in newness, that cannot be satisfied with only toes in the shallow end. We welcome those just starting. We welcome those who've been at it for a while and are transforming. We welcome those that can’t not go beyond the edges of the known, and those who can’t live in the complacency of the superficial, as engrained as it may be.
FOR PEOPLE WHO'S HUNCH IS THAT THE INSIDE TRANSFORMS THE OUTSIDE
We welcome those whose hunch is that much of what is needed comes from the inside, that in turn, transforms the outside. We welcome those searching to revamp how meaning is reached and to contribute with simplicity, courage, and clarity. We welcome those wanting to step into next level of personal leadership in work and life. We welcome those who follow the prompt to explore together, as community and as cohort.
And my final bit today—Ok—there is no map—but I feel guided—and sometimes there is a path—one that is ever changing ,verdant, rough and beautiful, and I choose to walk it.
Brave sharing—I’m with you—was it Ram Dass who said “we are all here to walk each other home..” whoever—i like it.
Big YES—to we cannot deny, ignore,choose not to see what MAGA promises.
Be well—take care
David you are definitely an amazing person. I'm blessed for our paths to have crossed. I can only hope to listen and learn from you. Thank you!